KODE = PEKA PLEASE

Holla~

OK gue sampe sekarang bingung haruskan cowo kita kodein dulu baru PEKA? kita yang jadi cewe juga cape sih bikin dia peka terus tapi apa? hasilnya juga gitu. Kadang harus DICEPLOSIN. Nah yang parah ini nih. Sampai terkadang kita mikir kan, "dia sayang ga sih sama gue?"

Jujur ini terjadi sama gue, heran beribu keheranan gue anaknya gengsi berat. Males yang namanya kode kodein kalo pas pacaran. Biar dia sadar kalo emang sayang ya kenapa ga langsung nyamperin atau bisa dibilang kaya bisa baca pikiran kita maunya kaya gimana.

Jangan muna, semua cewe pasti kan pingin diperlakuin special. Walaupun cowo lo cueknya ngalahin patung-_- paling kesel sih gini, gue males kode kodeinnya.
Didalam hati kita sadar ga sadar pasti pingin di perhatiin walaupun dikit. At least pingin di anggap ada sama doi. Again, kode lagi kode lagi.

so, kita boleh ngasih kode, tapi jangan kebanyakan dan jangan lebay banget. Cukup kodein satu atau ga tiga kali. Kalo dianya ga sadar juga dan lo keburu geregetan, mending lo langsung ceplosin didepan dia. Jangan via sms/bbm. Ga bakal ngefek kalo lo ceplas ceplos di hp. Face to face is the best. Because no one can't hide their true feeling. Dan, bukan nyeplosin lo pinginnya gimana. Tapi lo ceplosin kaya "lo belajar peka ya, jujur gue cape sih ngebuat lo peka. Hargai gue ya"
Kedengarannya galak. Tapi gapapa demi kebaikan lo nya. Kalo emang beneran sayang sama lo, dia pasti langsung bangkit dan berusaha minta maaf. Not only sit there and say "maaf yang" HALAAAH basi.

Kalo dua bener bener ga gerak selama 1 hari/2 hari, hati hati. Kemungkinan lo cuma dijadiin lampiasan napsu sesaat. Dia emang bilang sama lo "Sayang kok" udah gitu doang? Sayang itu pake usaha guys. Kalo cuma ngomong gitu doang anak tk pun bisa. Karena itu kata kata ga mengandung satupun kalimat yang bisa yakinin. Ya kalo yang buat sayang sama doi sih cukup denger kata "sayang" udah fly, seneng, klepek klepek.

Dan gue saranin, mending udahan sampai disitu. Minimal break kalo ga mau putus. Bilang ke dia ubah sikapnya. Jangan harus apa apa di kodein. Jangan lupa juga berdoa sama beribadah kepada Allah buat yang lebih baik. Karena tanpanya, semua rencana kita bisa gagal 99%.

Don't complain without trying, everything's gonna be alright. If you had try it then you allow to complain and burst your tears ;) best of luck for you girls!

Missing Me&You

we have built so many memories that contain pain, fun, love, miss, cry, mad, angry, shy, and the others emotion that makes us strong, weak, sad, happy:)

I wish we can continue this relationship without any fighting, or may be without sadness. But what? am I have to be patient all of time. I must admit that I'm a coward. I'm too scared to face the truth. I'm scared to confess what had my heart feel. I'm not lie. But it's hurts. Every times I felt hurt, all I can do is keep silent.

Stupid? I think. My friend keep telling me that I should tell him the truth, I must tell him what I feel. But I'm too scared. Too scared until I made a clumsy reaction. I wish, you, Reza, read this. 

I feel like an idiot when you're not replay my text message. I feel so stupid.

But hell again, I must wake up. how many times do I must get up? 

I really almost can't stand this anymore. You're telling me the lie. And I'm telling you the truth. Guess what? I love you:") If I lied I probably only using you and we already broke up long time ago. 

But I'm serious, serious about this. I've try to be the best but comeback to the reality, I'm still a human. Allah made me not perfect. You either. 

I still don't get it why you treat me like this. And like this morning. I wish I could receive a morning text from you. Pointless. 

Honestly, I'm missing you. Missing your warm, kind personality. Now I know you're like this. But too in love with you makes me don't wanna give up. Even you're mean as step-mother I'll love you. 

But to be honest too I'm missing the old me. Before "he" gone :') 

For you readers, try to listen to this song "missing me - Rj Helton" this is an old song but it's really telling the fact about those lovey dovey lover:" 

wanna get over it soon

gue tau kalo gue itu emang penyakitan. Dan gue tau kenapa bokap nyokap nyembunyiin. Suatu saat nanti, badan gue tiba tiba bakal turun drastis beratnya. Kalo gue sekuat bokap ya gue pasti bisa bertahan hidup. Kalo engga...

I dnt know either I should tell my boyfriend or not, because I'm too scared to leave by him :'( I'm scared too face the truth too. So right now, all I wanna do is get over it. I wanna like them, no pain, can play and eat what ever it likes as long it's health, party till drop and keep being with someone they love.

those romantic story is makes  me think twice. Is it real? or just me who hoping it will be come true. Right now I'm dizzy just by thinking the future. I don't even know what am I try to say in this blog.

The truth is, I feel sad. Sad because he never understands what I felt. Sad because I must face the truth in the mean time. Sad because .... always get sick whenever I ate. That's, just make me think am I gonna life till next year? am I still gonna see him? am I still gonna pray? am I gonna still breathing?I don't know what will happen, no one know what will happen in the future.

I only hope, hope for the best and wish, wish something wonderful will really happen in my life. Now, Later or In the future :)

miss him

"tahun depan kita bakar bakaran lagi yuk" 

"yah kak insyaAllah...-_- hehe abisnya aku banyak banget tugas sekarang :("

"hahhaha yaudah intinya pas kamu kesini aja;)"

"ok deh janjji! :D "

"ku tunggu janji mu :p"

"-__-"

my last conversation with him. My brother who always made me forget all my problems, taught me how to be brave, how to love someone.... and always help people whenever they need it. And now, he's gone for good.

I still remember my word, about I have found another my brother and now, he's become my boyfriend. But.... he's change. And I must accept the fact anyway. He's become, well his behavior is like he doesn't care with me anymore.

I miss him, my brother. Every time I felt lonely he always text me with some his wise sentence. Sometime I laugh because of it. And joking around. He always come every time. Not only when I felt lonely. Every time. In every moment. And make another beautiful moment with him. Well, I must admit that every time he near me, everything become a fairy tale story. Everything seem unreal for me. 

I really miss him, miss him in every point. 

diary II

everything seems different, everything becomes so blue for me. Right now I'm here, but my mind nowhere

I still remember my past, where's my parents still happy. And the most important is, not broken. They're still loved each other. But now ? I don't know. And my friend, Idk what was she thinking but honestly, it's her fault. Why she turned off the phone? and now she mad at me. With reason she had wait for me.

Now, I realize. Everything has change. And must change. Or life will be flat. But guess what? if the effected from change turn out to be something better it's ok! but it turn out to be... painful. I realize I'm still a teenager who will grow up and become an adult. So is it a sin if I came to their problem? is it will be a sin if I help them?

Right now I'm 16. In mean time I must ready to face it all the future. The adult's life which sound so crazy, free and nuts! (what's the different from it anyway?-_-) anyway I just want to you guys that don't blame everyone about their behavior. Because they are they, you are you, me is me, he is he, she is she and so be it!

Right now, I saw many people said you've changed so much. And I was just like, if they weren't change, it would be disaster. Because why? if you're not getting taller, getting old, getting smart, getting stupid, clever, and all the others, what will you be? people must tasted what if it like to be him, her, parents etc.

Scared if someone would mad at you? it's life! people do something bad and good is already a habit for human. Allah made us to be prefect. if you had - then you must be have +. Even your physic is not complete, but I bet you will be the winner!

Like me, I must changed. Change to something good and leave the bad. I planned on wearing veil when I'm married, or Allah gives me clue. And be someone who have good behavior. Someone who can be trust with everyone near me. amin :)

The point is, people's mind are different. And if one of your friend change, don't blame them. Accept their personality if they changed to be someone nice, if the bad one....well you must tell them;) tell them that they're change but in the wrong way. Try it;)  sorry for the long and random chit-chat!;)

All my dreams, hopes, wishes.

hollaaa :) welcome to my diary with smell about my dream, hope, and wish that I have on my mind right now.

Well, how can I put it in, when he asks me what am I had been thinking when ngablu comes, I only thinks he hugs me very tight while saying "I don't wanna loose you". That sweet kind of romance won't come to me anyway so I only dreaming about it. I know dreaming is great~ nice~ and somehow can make me happy. But again, when that dream day's over, must back to the reality well I got so much heart mini attack and realize, I'm still in here. Sitting alone in the middle of my room. I look around me and no one there. I wish he will next to me right now. 

Again, wish comes. After dreaming well I will make a wish to Allah. Usually I pray to Allah about our relationship, about my destiny and for my parents of course. But with honest, I really wishing for my destiny with all of my heart. I really hope that he will be mine. My husband, my everything. 

My dreams, I wanna be the best secretaries in Indonesia. just in Indonesia because, I feel awkward If I said the best in the world. Everyone can do something like become the best in the world because we have our own skill and weakness. But I'm afraid without trying first. Sorry, it's already my habit anyway. 

I have my skill and my weakness. So if you read my list of my dreams....well better you ready for reading like a doctor ;p because why? I have so many dreams, and they are secret;)

save it! write it down but don't let people know what are you up to. Because when they saw it, they will say "you can't do this" but the fact is "you can". 

Like me :) without everyone knows, I have a thousand dreams that I wish it will happen in the short time from now on :) Allah bless you always! :D

Diary

I guess my grandma's hobby is flow down on my blood like writing something with emotion, when I upset I will write down what I feel. well I don't really sure but Blogging is one of my favorite things to do since in elementary school.

so today, I think it's really not to important but I wanna to let it go all the problems, words and thought in my life through this.

I know I'm a selfish girl, and a spoiled girl. But don't ever think I had so much attention from my family. well guess what? My friends are the best thing I've ever had. why? If they're not here in my life, I would feel this world is really flat.

but now? My boyfriend always busy :'( and again I feel lonely:') and he's always saying a sweet words but I don't know if it a really from his heart or just saying to make me feel happy. Really I always pray that Allah will give him so many luck :) but what? he can't taste what it feels like to be free? naughty? and give so much attention to his girlfriend?

I'm not mad, but I only feel sick. Sick and tired hearing all this kind of things. Always says "sorry I'm busy" with a sad emoticon. I know you're always busy but can't you be honest with your parents that you're tired and want to have a great times with friends? well I knew the answer, and simple. "My parents are different from yours"

ok I admit it's true. But again, why he didn't try a single idea from me? I know I'm such a bad girl, always hang out no matter it's rainy or hot. But sometimes we must try first and then if we knew the answer well it'd something awesome :D but again, you will comeback to that sentences again :)

I'm tired and really, I always fell asleep whenever wait your text or call. honestly, I'm tired. and I want to ride on my motorcycle and go to no where. And seeing something new and awesome :)

just for your information, I wrote this things up while crying. I can't hold up this tears. it's painful :')
And again.

Hoping is the only way but seeing the fact, I don't really know what am I must do right now :) forgiving you is  the only way, be patient with your behave is already my habit. But seeing you ignoring me? I (don't know).