Random Feelings (Part 1)

I don't know why but this day, I really love seeing or hearing my phone vibrating or something sign there's a text message come :3 but of course I'm very happy when I saw the text was from my bf :')

but... as the time goes by, I really felt we more farther than usual. I mean, there is so many wall between us. We can't text-ing each other often, otp and... meeting each other. I hate waiting a message, and yeah speak the truth I HATE if you're not replay my text. yap I hate it so much. I don't why esp. when I've sent you more than twice.

When I'm gonna check my phone, I wish there will be a text from you but? krik krik-_- there's no text :) only pain I got when I saw it. And I don't like when you asked "why" even though you already know the answer.

I know you're not a sensitive person but can you be that kind of person without I'm wishing it? I guess no :) This emoticon, not represent my true feeling. My true feeling is ":(" or may be worst like ":'(" why? I'm not  kind of person who like to make other people think "is she alright?" so I always wearing this mask. Even though he always knew that I'm not alright at all.

Am I have to suffer waiting his message? I don't know but when he sent me one message it makes me happy somehow. I miss him more than words ;') but is he miss me?

Now, right now I think he's busy. I feel like a young little girl who wants candy but his father still works and the lil' kid must save her own feeling. When her mother ask "whats wrong dear?" the girl answer " Nothing is wrong mom :)".

Again, said "ok" but wearing a mask. I really want to take off this mask and be my self! I want to be more honest with my self but it difficult :'

I don't know what should I wrote again. I don't want make any fight for me and him. I just wanna have a good nice relationship.

My wish for this week, Allah, please look after him :') because I'm still his "girlfriend" not his "wife" :) make his parents let him go wherever he wants. Let his parents know that he just a boy who wants to taste what is world is. Amin :)